Guess in some part of my life… indeed I have fallen short of His expectations, and about how I feel about my surroundings! & even tempted to blame God, and forgetting His presence! :( Ought to call for some self-reflection! For the time being, Thank You for not failing me! I just realised it’s really important to come and attend any God-related prayers! It’s always through so many of these that God showed me how I should live!
(Source: iwilltrustinyou, via littlethingsaboutgod)
In the past, I’ve always wondered if God has given me any talents or etc… Like prominent one such as being good in sports, talented in music or even being confident, loud, advocating so many different causes! However, I fail to realise I do have a gifting of striking up conversations with people(strangers), & even being interested to know what their life have been, or how to help them feel better! I’m praying that He will allow me to major in Social Work, & also to be able to help others in need. If there is a calling, God, I will go.
(Source: joecatholic, via littlethingsaboutgod)
Sometimes I think other wise of you… Like if you really cared… I learned in social work tt we must respect people’s value… I’m really trying.
—Kurt Vonnegut
(Source: misswallflower, via yourelectrikfeel)
Guess I’m just plain sad & lonely in school. :( oh man. Am I going to graduate without having any friends? Is it my fault for missing all the orientation. :’( … Or well I should indeed get a cca? Actually I did… :( but its plain disappointing. I mean, I tried but its so discouraging. My cell leader didn’t even try to contact me! :$ oh God, what should I do?
(Source: icanread)
How great is the universe? Well, is everything indeed due to determinism? Right now, it’s not a coincidence of me sitting down here, typing about my confusion in life… it’s all pre-destined? It somehow reminded me of what pastor Khong always says in church, (though that sentence is preset…) Dear friends, it’s not by chance or what that you are sitting here, but by God’s plan! Hmm, well then can we link determinism to God? Did God predestined us to be here… or Determinism to predestine us to meet God?
While typing this… I’m also feeling distraught and demoralised over the first assignment of my philosophy. I did not do well. This sentence alone is enough to break 3/4 of my heart. I feel that I’m lousy, useless, and really… Am I worthy enough to be in NUS competing with everyone? Sometimes, I feel like I’m just a leech… trying to take a degree, & get out, without knowing what I want in life? Well, is it true? I think again and again, I keep questioning my existence on earth, & why did I even go so far? It feels like I was just P6, young, innocent & ignorant about what life can offer to me… Right now, it’s still the same… I’m somewhat still ‘young’, not that innocent anymore, but still ignorant about life. Well, I just followed the mundane routine of getting into a JC, then a university. What’s next? I’m starting to be scared, & afraid what life has to offer?
What life has to offer? A kick at your back, down the dark valley, where only you yourself can climb up.
Sometimes, I wonder if things would be different if I were to choose Early Childhood in NP… or even fashion design in NAFA.
But well, you make your own choices… & you have to regret it. Hold the grudges yourself. I mean, well, I really still regret choosing JC just for pride issues, and pleasing my parents.
Children, never ever try to please your parents… it’s your life! Take control! It’s your happiness after all! Even if you fall hard, feel the pain, get up & chase after your dreams! Life will always want to kick your ass, but stand strong and tall. Never let it come between you and your dreams.
After saying all these, what is my dream?
(via yourelectrikfeel)
We all have times when we wake up in the morning and feel the blahs and blues; we don’t feel very excited. But just because we feel those emotions doesn’t mean we have to stay there and give in to them; we can shake it off and move forward in faith relying on God’s strength.
Today, decide not to live by how you feel. Go deeper than that and start living by what you know. You know God is in control. You know He’s got a great plan for your life. You know His power is greater than any other power. When you wake up and those old negative, discouraging thoughts and feelings come, shake them off. Be done with that roller coaster living. Don’t give into your emotions and let them keep you from God’s blessings and promotion. Start choosing to live each day in God’s peace. Decide that you’re going to have a great day. By doing so, you will see God work in your life in greater ways because your eyes are fixed toward Him instead of your situation, and you’ll live the life of victory He has in store for you!
(via bexe)
(Source: acr0mantula, via shimbi)
(Source: cosmic-dust-girl, via yourelectrikfeel)
No amount of words can describe how stress I am right now! I just realised I got to rush off another assignment which I just saw few minutes ago… :’( I’m really stressed. Really really stressed. Whenever people asked me, how’s school? I’ll be like, yeah it’s okay! Fullstop. I have no idea how to describe this agony inside me! It’s just too painful to be in school, facing tutorials… pretending to speak up, & enduring the loneliness of being with friends I’m not familiar with! I can’t pretend I’m okay when I’m not… I really want to cry, but I forgot how to. I need something to trigger my emotions. I’m so hard, cold, heartless, I can’t feel myself anymore, anymore. I hate this oncoming depression! I want to avoid it! I just want to feel normal, and alright again! God, why is it so hard in University? I know nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard? I just want to come back to the start! I just feel inferior compared to everyone around, even unworthy to be in university. It feels so tough competing with people! It’s like the worst thing on earth! I really hate school… I’m trying my best to change that but NO! It’s a million times tougher than what I’ve expected! It’s really beyond my capability… God, would you grant me strength to move on? Would you?
I’m already facing so much problems in school, & now I have to be blamed for something I’m not causing fault for… This is how life goes? Especially the painfulness of being accused by someone close… your dad. Is that what it’s suppose to be? You have been setting a bad example, ignoring us and all… always claiming your business is so much important to feed us. Yes we know, but even busy people take time to spend time with their kids. If you had the heart, you wouldn’t spend all your time drinking with your friends. If you would take the effort to close shop earlier by an hour, or simply taking us out each week for dinning… maybe things would be different. There are so many things happening in the family, yet I feel so helpless about it. I too have my own problems, & I don’t even know who to seek for help.
If I’m on the edge, would you lend a helping hand to me?
(via jetblackheart)
